Open Letter to my Love

It has taken me 24 years to finally get here. After years of feeling lost, annoyed with what I have and scared to explore anything deeper. I’ve now resigned myself to this connection that we have because I can no longer 

deny the pull I have towards you, charismatic almost mystifying.

I was a lone ranger before I met you, convinced that I wasn’t going to find anything to satisfy me. But soon enough everyone told me to take the leap. “Don’t over think it”, they chided me, as if they all had entered paradise walking this road. All of a sudden I felt peer pressured and it made me even wearier at the thought of you.

I remember the first time we met, I was nervous and jumpy, obviously unsure of what to expect and how to feel. We got to know each other quickly, but it never felt rushed. Sitting up late into the night, I marvelled at your body and the simplicity with which we communicated. When I touched you, you connected me and over time. We made a great team, you and I, everyone told me so. With you around, there was so much incoming in my life and somehow you made everything better. You’ve been the first thing I want to look at every morning and you have always shown up when I’ve needed you.

Do you remember the day I thought I lost you? You just wouldn’t get up. The memory of that still raises my heartbeat. I’ve taken you for granted so many times, tossed you to the side when something more important has come along but I’ve always cherished what you’ve brought to my life and for that, you will always be more special than the rest.

I think we are on the verge of a break. This is really the hard part.  I feel like you are consuming me. Waking up to you have become a habit, a compulsion that stifles me. I feel we’ve stagnated and have fallen into a rut. I sometime wonder how we got here. I used to spend hours discovering every facet of you, exploring the intricacies of your character, studying you. Now there’s no surprise, nothing new to keep me excited. Sometimes I feel I push you too hard and I’m scared that you may push me down one day. I don’t want to live in that moment any more. I don’t want to go through the anxiety I feel when you’re drained from all my rant. I think its time to move on, coz now the more I look at you the more faults I find.

Cheating on you is not an option. We’ve done too much together and have been too intimate for me to just 

discard you. We have to end this with the same confession with which we began. You have to know that there will never be anyone like you and replacing you will not be easy. A part of me wants to just cut off from the world for a while. I know a part of this is coz, I don’t know what life will be like after you, just like I can never imagine a life before you. You’ve been with me through my toughest year and for that I will be forever grateful.

So my darling PC, I think our journey ends here. I need something new in my life and trust me when I say this, its not you and really not me either, its just the ever-changing faces of technology. Nothing lasts forever in my business and it seems the same applies for you. Think of me fondly and I’ll always remember you whispering warmth against my ears, feeding me news on Google, talking to walls on Facebook, no matter what the hour. I have to put you down now and step away, coz true to your name, your hold on me is just too strong.