pretty eyes staring back at me so blue and wide
the colors of the summer sky
the colors of the world
if love is blind, why do i see you so clearly now?
perfect vision of our love somehow
you take over my mind
look up into the galaxy tonight
the stars illuminate the love we make

you and your pretty eyes
you keep me alive

pretty eyes you're the one that keeps up all night
i know no one else could make me feel this way
i want to look up into the milky way tonight
the sky illuminates the love we make
the love we make so bright

you and your pretty eyes
you keep me alive

as the moon shines its light on you
your pretty eyes they glow
tell me that you'll stay the night
just stay a while

you and your pretty eyes
you keep me alive 




Song: Pretty Eyes - Alex Goot

Ok so New decade has begun along with the New Year and its time we look back in the past and relive those moments no matter how much fucked they were. The past decade has been plagued with plenty WTF moments not only for me but to most Indians (I say 'most' coz other half of most people don’t give a fuck)  and towards the end of the decade to folks all around the globe, THANKS WIKILEAKS, that said  no monetary or any other kind of exchanges took place between me and Julian Assange.

But why the fuck would I want to write about WTF moments? Well I thought it is better to go beyond the “Top idealistic things I should be doing in my life in years to come” type of lists, mainly because I don’t give a damn about them and second they make me feel bloody inconsequential. And seriously what else can you do when you have temporary insomnia (wtf is a temporary insomnia??) at 3.30 am and even a lacklustre Communist literature is not putting me to yawn.

WTF#1: The rise and fall of Sania Mirza Malik

I am annoyed; actually I used to be, at second round exits of every tourney she played. Not because I liked her and felt I have been raped at her losses, its only because I hated watching news after that, since every News channel would pompously show (chu! &% @$ at India TV and Star news) how she went down fighting hard even if the scoreline read 6-1, 6-0 at the hands of an unseeded player. But still there was the time whenever her matches were shown by assholes at DD, half of India would Orgasm at the end of every point because of her large shaking thighs reminding everyone of erotic B grade movies and the entire Sub-continents male population would rise to cheer her (every pun intended...). While it took  a while for the nation to come to terms with her getting married to our rich-poor neighbor, I was relieved coz I can now start watching tennis again. But my joy was short-lived. She has now upped her tempo and first round exits are the trends for her. 
Fake News: With Shoaib not playing in the world cup and with her first round exits, Condom and Tissue sales are zooming to an all-time high in Pakistan. 

Don’t worry Sania, if there is ever scarcity of those common necessities, we’ll gift those to you (no one in India is using them anyways!!). But Sania bhabhi could you please ensure to send truckloads of Onions as return gifts.

Wrapping up with a wish for both of you to have happy lives and tolerant liberal babies. But as always my heart is for someone else.

WTF#2: Corruption

Corruption is not a new thing in India or to the Indians, especially in the 28 states and 7 UT, have I covered everything within our borders?? But the perception of corruption seemed to have worsened in recent days, THANK YOU MR. KALMADI, you along with other infamous politicians of our country perfectly define the phrase that “corruption is every politicians political right”. We hang the petty thieves and elect the great ones to public offices. This is the reason you are elected for in first place, to ransack the country. I cannot get more simpler than this. But you know what, even for someone as numb, sceptical and cynical as me, a new scam every 10 hours is a huge kick in the balls of national dignity and social conscience.

WTF#3: Government Policies

I really don’t know why the fuck I entered this territory because my government policy expertise is as magnanimous as a Naga Sadhu’s wardrobe. But I want to know why those assholes have still not been sentenced. And I am not referring to dork that swam across for a cup of tea at TAJ. I am hinting at the FII in India, that reminds me of Rani Mukherjee’s; wahaa hote toh g@^% phat jaati line from NOKJ.

WTF#4: Cricket

Not sure, where to even begin. From the start of the decade (match-fixing) to the end of it (spot-fixing), there is not much positivity to speak about. And if all this was now enough, we now have a MODICHHAAAP IPL to bear with. 

And now with Sharad Pawar, who btw looks like a :-/ emoticon, I can only pray the coming WC plays its full schedule.

WTF#5: CWG OC

We already talked about corruption right?? Thats it then end of CWG bashing. Oh wait, we haven't talked about Mayawati. Yaa I know she wasn’t a part of CWG OC, but still credit has to be given to our Honourable member of the aristocracy of UP Kumari Shri  Mayawatiji (no editing mistake), when we talk about corruption.

WTF#6: CBI Grilling everyone

Ok let me get this straight, what is with the folks at CBI grilling one and all? The number of times you people grill(question) criminals (read Kalmadi), you should consider changing the agency’s name to Central Barbeque Investigation. Btw how many cases have you fucking cracked till now, ZERO??, which makes me wonder if your agency name stands for Chutiye Bhare Idhar. Am sure loads of moolah you guys have already raked in by feeding Chicken Birayani to Kalmadi and Spectrum Raja for over 9 hours, I mean the baarat they come along with to the CBI HQ only implies that they get bags full of dowry with them in their Audi trunks. You guys also hype your so called raids just like you gonna invade St. Nazaire but then turn around sheepishly like N.D.Tiwari caught with his pants down.

WTF#7: Rajnikanth Jokes

Why did Rajniknath discarded all the elements in periodic table? Coz he only likes the ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!!  ... Lame joke...nevertheless I give a fuck

WTF#8: Chetan Bhagat

This IIM-A dude continues to destroy an entire generation of Indians with his 95 rupees thrash. Dude (with all due fucking respect), you cannot turn a phrase to begin with and then churn out 4 books, I say STOP WASTING PAPERS and get back to your boring life with excelsheets in Singapore.

Only someone like Rupa publications can have the courage to print these shits. Just out of curiosity do they give you Rupa baniyans as royalty?? Am sure they do. And btw my cardiogram makes more sense than your lettering.

WTF#9: Rakhi Sawant

My WTF of the decade award goes to Rakhi Sawant for her pseudo portrayal of Bhartiya Naari getting married in a swayamwar. O’ JEJUZZ, WHERE IS MEDIAS, MEDIAS KO BULAO. Some things just get bigger by the day.

Fake News: Rakhi just got another enhance .....brb.....Googling Rakhi Sawant

Add Rahul Mahajan to this category and you’ll get EPIC WTF, btw Dimpi is being bashed up as we speak.

WTF#10: Wikileaks

I cannot talk much about them as I fear my Swiss banks accounts details would be made public and the entire nation would have to face another round of embarrassment and then debate in the Parliament over the amount of money I had deposited there. I should first probably withdraw my entire black money balance of 151.75 rupees before it is declared overtly and my face is splashed all over India TV and Rajat Sharma orgasms just looking at me.

That brings me to the Defining Moment:

That said most days of the past decade were unremarkable. They begin and they end with no lasting memories made in between. The decade started with Y2K and ended with a WTF

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me......

The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any GF - ex, Current (Dear Cupid, its time we need to talk about your aim now), future is purely.....


Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything. Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about and that's what she gets for falling again; she can never get him out of her head and that's what she gets for falling again; she can never get him out of her head, it's the way that he makes her feel. On broken wings she is falling And it won't be long the skin on her burning by the fire of the sun, on skinned knees she is bleeding and it won't be long she have got to find that meaning she'll search for so long.Facts first this opinion nothing never’ll last forever so when he said he was leaving this time she smiled and said I’d let him never in my life, am I so glad to see Somethin’ end, so in retrospect to everything, Well I’m hysterical it did, well it did.



Just after then she was struck with emotions of not seeing him again, it's the way that he makes her feel and that's what she gets for falling again. Her smiled, with which she had arrived to meet him, waned off leaving a frowned look on her beautifully carved face; making the mole on her right cheek bone more prominent; her eyes began to moist. The surrounding around her was beginning to fade, on her right was the sun just about to set in the deep water, making her feel even more disappointed. The setting of half naked sun above water just seemed perfect for a romantic walk, leaving footprints in the sand, but it wasn't to be true this time, that's what she gets for falling again. She looked to the other side hoping he would still be there and this all never happened. The faces around her were compressed in the haze forming tighter orbs. She looked down at the water splashing against her feet and thought of taking the plunge, swim across to the horizon, setting down with the sun, but never come back up unlike the sunrise next day.

But it seemed like an astrologically auspicious window had opened up for her as she took her first step towards the sea, when the ground below her feet began to tremble rapidly. She was perplexed at this, thinking is this nature's way of saying back-off, you can be strong. But she still went ahead with the step as she knew that even the tsunami wave cannot be as huge as the disappointment she has just experienced. She wanted all this to end soon. She looked straight at the horizon as if mumbling to someone sitting behind the curtains of the dull sun to end her suffering. By now the ground beneath began to quake vigorously as she lost her balance and fell in that shallow water. As water splashed across her face she heard a voice.Thinking she had departed from the cruel world and an angel is talking to her saying 'I am sorry for your loss in that cold-blooded world'. But focussing on the voice, she realized it sounded similar to the one that has just betrayed her. Concentrating on the words harder, running in loop, all she could make out was...

- Autumn honey wake up , hey wake up Autumn, why are you crying? Honey wake up its me M....